Romance scams cost people a great deal of money and heartache every year, but they follow a predictable pattern once you know it. Learning the signs is the best protection you have. Here is how to recognise a dating scammer and what to do if you suspect one.
What Are the Signs of an Online Dating Scammer?
The most reliable warning signs are:
- Falling in love fast — strong feelings and pet names within days.
- Never available to video call or meet, always with a convenient excuse.
- A too-good-to-be-true profile — glamorous photos, often claiming to work abroad, on an oil rig, in the military, or as a doctor.
- Inconsistent details that shift over time.
- Pushing to move off the app to private messaging early.
- Asking for money — the definitive red flag — via bank transfer, gift cards, or cryptocurrency.
How Do Romance Scams Work?
Romance scams are built on patience and emotion. Over days or weeks, the scammer showers you with attention to build a bond and a sense of obligation. Then comes the ask: a sudden emergency such as a medical bill, a stranded traveller's plane ticket, a customs fee, or a business cash-flow crisis. Because they have engineered a real emotional connection, the request feels personal rather than suspicious. They avoid meeting in person or on video precisely because it would expose the lie.
What Should You Do If You Think You're Being Scammed?
Act quickly and protect yourself:
- Stop sending money immediately — do not send "just one more" payment.
- Keep the evidence — save messages, profiles, and payment details.
- Cut off contact and block the account.
- Report the profile to the dating platform so it can act.
- Report the scam to your national consumer-protection or fraud authority (for example, the FTC in the US or Action Fraud in the UK).
Feeling embarrassed is normal, but scammers are skilled manipulators — this is not your fault, and reporting helps protect others.
How to Protect Yourself From Dating Scams
Keep conversations on the platform until you genuinely trust someone, choose sites with verification and easy reporting, and treat any request for money as an instant end to the conversation. Our guide to the red flags in online dating covers the broader warning signs, and our Help Centre explains how to block and report on iwillfindyou.love. Ready to meet people safely? You can join for free.